Long long ago, in a land far far away…
Sure enough when the hot summer sun came around, the fat cat no longer wanted Quackling’s warm fluffy feathers. Fine. Nevertheless, they napped beside each other on the cool wooden floor of Quackling’s freshly renovated nest. That was, until Mo left her friend for one of those squawky neighbours whom Quackling hated so much.
His name was Ivis the ibis. Like Ivy but not quite; like Elvis with an I. At first Mo didn’t like his scruffy and off-white feathers. Neither was she impressed with his explanation that the long black beak was quite harmless – no, not for pecking, but only for digging deep into rubbish bins. He however, was very much impressed by her mantra that fowls are friends, not food. He also pointed out that she was every bit as scruffy as he was, with her unkept fur tangled together with dirt and grass from rolling in the yard. Oh, how is that she doesn’t see what I see, he sung passionately. We are simply puuuurrrfect for each other!
One pleasant summer night, he took her out to the leafy corner-store. They say green potions are the magical solution to all ailments. They say, it even has the raw power to overcome the pain of unrequited love. Just one piece of ginger, two stalks of celeries, three sticks of carrots, and a handful of spinach and kale leaves later, the fat cat burst out in a stanza of love –
“You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?”
Ivis wasted no time and immediately took out a plastic ring, which was scavenged from the depth of a bin. Or was it from the slippery snout of a pig? Never mind the details now – love is blind anyhow. The last anyone heard, the two were happily sailing off under the moonlight, so bright, tonight (that’s right) on a beautiful kale-green boat.
Quackling swung herself up a tree branch, all mopey and disappointed that her fickle feline friend left her all by her lonesome self for a fairer fowl. Soon, a great big black canine walked by. Mind if I join you? He asked.
That’s all folks. The end.